Surrender to Motherhood, Sometimes it's Hard
Revised 01-10-18Give in.
You're a mom and that's that.
Your son is almost 3 years old.
He is your full time job, more than that actually since your days begin around 8:30 a.m. and end around 11:30 p.m., with a 2 hour nap somewhere in the middle. And around 1:30 a.m. he wakes up every night to get in bed with you and doesn't allow room so much as to turn over comfortably.
It's a lot of fun.
Truly it is, sometimes.
Sometimes it's not.
Oftentimes you feel guilty.
You feel guilty for trying to fold laundry, do dishes, prepare meals in between playing with your kid.
You feel guilty for being distracted in your mind at times when you two are playing, thinking things like, "shit I've got to get dressed and get him dressed to get out the door by 11:00 a.m."
Playing with him is the greatest but it's a challenge to not be distracted with other household duties when you two are playing. The household chores never end.
You love your boy so much.
You'd give your life for him without thinking twice.
But sometimes he drives you bonkers.
Sometimes he whines, screams and even hits.
He's almost 3 and has nearly an adult-sized-brain (kids' brains grow fast), real emotions and is equipped with a little kid's ability to handle those emotions.
You can remind yourself of that now. Right now he's at your mother's so you can get an hour break. It's difficult to remind yourself of that when he's screaming at you, red in the face, for merely turning off his YouTube kids video.
He wants to look at pictures of carnage toys on the internet several times a day. You find this cute and interesting but, at times, annoying.
You have to act interested in the carnage toys over and over.
You point out the different styles, hand attachments, el señor abajo de la máscara de Carnage, many times a day.
He's so enthusiastic about this particular toy right now. You feel it's your duty to support your kid's interests, as long as it's something that doesn't harm him of course.
The reasons this post started with the words, 'give in' and 'surrender' are these:
|Sam out to eat with me|
And, time for your husband? Time alone with him? Ha. You get that a couple hours a week, tops. Once you get time alone (like this hour) you each have our own stuff to do.
Time for friends? Ha. That's even less. You have very close to zero social life which is depressing.
You miss the city where you lived before you had your child.
You miss speaking Spanish daily at work.
You miss having a life of your own that didn't revolve only around caring for a toddler.
You're a mom. A full time mom. You can't do much of anything else at this stage of the game.
But this is what you wanted. You longed for a baby. You yearned for motherhood. You have a healthy, happy, funny, beautiful boy and a wonderful husband. So shut up and be happy.
Everything else is on hold for a while.
Come to terms with that.
Savor the moment, for everyone tells you: it's fleeting and one day you'll miss it.